MyDaysAreNumbered

Today is my fourth wedding anniversary. Last year was a bit of a disaster. I was in York attending a meeting with my team. We had just sat down after a long day for a quiet pint and a meal. My phone started to ring. It was my wife. The first words out of her mouth were "Happy Anniversary". As you can imagine there was a deathly silence from me......brain trying, unsuccessfully to think of something to say.........my wife let me off the hook by saying that she had also forgotten and that next year we would make a better job of it. My team looked on aghast! They thought that my wife must be a reasonable person not to have given me hell for my oversight.

Three days ago, I ordered some flowers for my wife. I instructed them to deliver the flowers yesterday morning.......thereby giving my wife ample opportunity to at least get a card.

Last night we were talking about the flowers etc. She admitted that she had thought the flowers arriving meant that yesterday was our anniversary...........and then she dropped a bombshell. She further admitted that she really hoped that it was not our anniversary because she had two chocolate puddings in the fridge. The sell by date was the 25th.

Typical! I'm thinking "Lets make an effort". She is thinking "Shit, the chocolate puddings have reached their sell-by-date!!!???

Ok! Full Rant Mode Engaged!

Fucking bastards!

Today I was listening to the radio. Long drive back home. Meeting with representatives of the royalty of this country to afford us an award for our commercial abilities.

Get More Sleep! This is the message form the 'Experts' to our childern. Apparently, kids are playing on the xbox or playstation (other forms of entertainment are availabe), late into the night and eating starchy and sugary snacks 'for comfort'.

FUCK OFF! They want to control:

Conkers
Food Intake
Sleep
Safe Play
Every other thing that appears to be fun

We will get to the stage where they have us voting, in a kind of X-Factor method, on Who Would Be Suitable Parents. Don't let these self-righteous bastards hijack the social agenda. We are all different - shades of 'Life Of Brian' - I know! Please do not let us sleep walk into the hands of these ill-educated fuckwits.

Can we start a blogtypeanarchyaccountpleasekillthedogoodingbastards thing? I don't want these joykilling bastards to gain any more ground. My kids are healthy, happy and do not requires the attentions of supposedly well meaning folks - that have 'not got a fucking clue' on practical, realistic, modern parenthood.

I appreciate that not all kids grow up in an ideal scenario. I also recognise that the intentions of the current legislations are about, or should be about, protecting the best interests of the vulnerable portions of our society...............but current thinking, I feel is not 'about the kids'. It's about personal issues affecting the authors and not about the general well-being of kids.

Rant over! Comments Please?

I am sick and fucking tired of people getting their fucking noses into other peoples business.

This was going to be a rant about personal issues.......I then could not settle on a title. Then hit upon this one. Tried googling it...nada. This is truly original?

Smug! Smug! Smugy of old Smugy Town! (It's a shallow little place I know).

Will rant later about the Nanny-State!

What a great morning! On Thursday I logged onto www.freecycle.co.uk for the first time. I searched for a piano. Got a hit for an upright piano within 2 miles of my house. Emailed the guy to see if it was still up for grabs. Within the hour he emailed me back and asked if I wanted to go around and see it. I did, I like, it's mine! Arranged a removal company to pick it up and deliver. Delivered this morning. Looks fab. Bit of veneer lifting on the sides. Sourced a company locally that sell veneer. Off to pick it up now. Little project to keep me busy in the wee small hours. Pal has a friend who is a piano tuner. Job done! Oh! And just bid on ebay for a mahogany piano stool.

Make a cup of tea. Sit down and relax. Watch this............very entertaining!! Very, very scary!!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7374585792978336967

Just had two weeks paternity leave. Fucking amazing! Not just for the fact of the birth of son No.2 = Shaw William Russell. Have really had a great time with son no.1 = Cormack Steven Russell. Made a massive personal breakthrough that upon reflection would never have happened but for the leave. Wife has gone through the mill and back again. She is my friend!

Am quite sad to be going back to work. Means two, three nights a week away from home. My sadness is overcome with the joy that I feel that all is well with my family. I am blessed!

Thanks to all that have commented, blogged and basically kept me sane over the last couple of weeks. You should all now give us/yourselves a collective hug right now!

All my love

Steve

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Maybe it's just me? Because I am a man? Whenever the midwife calls around I get the feeling that she does not like me. I ask what I feel are pertinent questions only to be treated with barely concealed contempt. I am patronised, condecended to and generally treated like scum.

I go out of my way to be courteous and pleasant but it is unmistakable........the only reason she is here is because I got her latest patient pregnant.

Is this midwifes behaviour standard? Or is this just a clash of personalities?

Your experiences would be welcomed!

Steve

Shaw is in his bouncy-chair. He is 1 week old today. He has just farted! Rancid, Evil, Unnatural! How could something so small and beautiful make such a stench? It wasn't a case of can you smell it? I could tatse it? That is disgusting.....

Towards the end of January my wife informed me that she was pregnant. This would be our second child. At that time Cormack, our son, was 19 months old.

We lived in a two bedroom thatched cottage in the centre of Fife. It was beautiful. Very picturesque with stunning views and a well maintained garden with fruit trees etc. Our friends envied our home.

Upon digesting the information about the prospect of another mouth to feed, we sat down and talked over what we were to do.

Our house was too small for another baby. We decided to sell and find a new decent home. The house went on the market in February. We got down to house-hunting. By April we had found a new home and were nearing completing on the sale of our own. We moved in to our new house at the beginning of May. I got my new company car also.

Decorating, cleaning, building fucking Ikea furniture, decorating. At the end of May I celebrated my 40th birthday. A quiet affair. In June we celebrated my son's 2nd birthday and a promotion at work for me with a decent pay rise.

On September 26th my 2nd son Shaw, was born at 02:45am. For the last week I have been doing what I can to support my wife Nicola. Asda, looking after Cormack and generally using my paternity leave to get all those nagging little things done that I've not been able to do. I work from home and tend to be away meeting clients sometimes 3, 4 nights a week.

Right now I am in my office at home. My wife is asleep on the sofa. Shaw is lying in his bouncy chair, also sleeping. I've just finished hooking up the fax, the video recorder and the play-station.

I was looking around my setting and thought to myself. "Fuck me! Where am I? What happened to the time?"

Life is precious. Time is short! Enjoy it while you can.

Steve

Mornin' all!

my previous post on starting a new business assembling individuals Ikea furniture has taken a dive......

I googled 'Flatpack Assembly' to find that people are already doing this. Bugger!

Not only Ikea but any flatpack furniture for domestic and commercial purposes!

Isn't it always the way? You come up with an idea.......sorry, a 'genius idea' Only to find that your genius has been kicked in the nuts by some other clever bastard who's genius outshines even your own? Ah! Well! Back to the drawing board.